Empty Days
by theWrongImpressionist
Summary: Two years sharing the same space can change anyone's mind.
1. one

...

empty days

...

Jade stepped into his house with the afternoon sun spilling at his back. Pushing the door closed with a hip, he set down his stack of boxes with a soft grunt. Before, he would have just magicked the boxes along with an arte. Before, when artes had more power. He missed before.

But he didn't mind now, either. Now was, on the whole, a better time. Certainly much more restful, if nothing else. He picked up his set of boxes, padded upstairs to his labs with the stairs creaking under his weight. It was a long, spiral staircase, dotted on the railing with carved rappigs and entirely impractical for carrying objects with any reasonable alacrity. It was also a product made entirely of Peony's whimsy. Well, the whole seaside structure was Peony's much-loved brainchild, which explained why his lab was upstairs, in the _daylight, _and not secreted down in a basement like he would have preferred, and why everything was decorated in blues and golds and whites and seagulls and rappigs. It didn't explain how the Emperor could ever conceive that such a house would be perfect for his dear old friend Jade, and that Jade would love it, and that even mad scientists needed sunshine and shiny things, sometimes.

But the house came on its own island, off the coast of Grand Chokmah, and so Jade took it. There were worse things than free privacy.

...well, it was supposed to be private. Except that, upon cresting the rise of the third story and toeing open the door to his storage room, there was someone there.

Jade actually stopped in his tracks. "Luke?"

The young man stood with his back to Jade, facing out the opened window with the Key of Lorelei strapped across his back, as it always was, anymore - a child's security blanket twisted to an adult form. His hands were quiet in the pockets of his pale cloak, and when he turned to smile at Jade, his green eyes were calmly unreadable, Asch-like.

"Hi, Jade." He smiled wider. "I think I actually surprised you."

Jade sniffed and resumed his entrance. "Like one is surprised at the return of bathroom mold." Truthfully, his heart was pounding a little faster than normal, but... "I hope the House of Fabre is prepared to reimburse the cost of my locks."

Luke looked amused. "I'll replace the artes before I leave."

"Ah. Yes..." Because this Luke could do things like that, now.

"You want help with those?" Luke nodded towards the boxes Jade hefted onto an empty table. One of many empty tables, in a wide, open room, with myriad empty spaces still waiting to be filled with apparatus. It was lit by skylights and long bay windows – Peony had been adamant about the bay windows, harmful effects of sunlight completely brushed aside with an Emperor's sly grace. Probably why Luke chose this room in which to wait, from among all the others. This Luke liked open spaces. Empty spaces.

"The offer is appreciated," Jade exhaled as he released the weight, "but I believe even an old man such as I can manage."

He awaited the expected retort on his age, taking the topmost box from the stack and slicing neatly through the packaging tape with a handily-produced spear-tip. But none was forthcoming.

Jade looked up. Luke was watching him. Closely.

It was...bizarre.

Jade wasn't easily unsettled, but there was something here that... "Well, Luke," he covered, silky tones taking on a familiar drawl, "I must say I'm fairly tickled pink you came to see me. You've only just returned, after all, and Tear is ever so much more enthusiastic about these triumphant homecoming things – or at least, yours." He unpacked a set of beakers; frowned disapprovingly at a crack running down the faded measurement lines of a particularly dusty specimen. "I'm surprised Guy let you out of his sight, to say nothing of the Princess." He didn't look up for a reaction, but Luke's silence spoke its own kind of answer.

Too bad he hadn't a clue what it meant.

"I'm afraid the most I can offer is a repeat welcome and an Emperor's demonstrative opulence." He waved a flask in a vague inclusive motion of the room around them. "Regrettably, I'm fresh out of hearty back-slaps."

He heard motion and looked up. Luke had placed his hands on the windowsill and didn't answer. Jade shook his head silently and returned to unpacking. This new Luke was contemplative in ways that neither replica nor original had ever been, and with an added wistful, fey air that cleaved to his skin and was frustratingly indecipherable.

Leaning out the window, looking out at the blue sky and seagulls, the upward slant of his chin and his somber wide-eyed gaze gave Luke a doleful appearance.

"I know," he finally said, softly. Nothing else. Jade glanced at him, watching him for a few moments before turning away, picking up another cardboard box to give the impression of occupation while this not-Luke collected his mind. The box held worn test tubes and a few racks to house them, which Jade unpacked methodically, taking out test tube after test tube, inspecting them critically, and lining them up in a stand with delicate glass clinks, a counterpoint to the far-off seabirds' cries that drifted in and out of hearing on the breeze.

When Jade finished, Luke's eyes were fixed on the test tubes.

"Luke might have been born in one of those," he remarked.

Jade was more surprised than he showed. "Oh? You know those were-"

"Dist's, yes."

"If you'd like, I don't have to-"

"No, use them. They'll have a cleaner use with you."

Jade's eyes narrowed.

"I'm sorry, you don't like being cut off-"

"Stop that," Jade interrupted.

Luke turned slightly then, as if his body could angle away the criticism. "I don't mean to, Jade."

Jade sighed, reaching to place the completed rack on a shelf, then looking directly at Luke. He wasn't so inclined to pussyfoot around him, not since he came back from...wherever. "How much of you is Lorelei?"

He shrugged, a bit of Asch's nonchalant arrogance creeping into the gesture, but his eyes flashed golden with the iridescence of an oil pool. Lorelei was all in the eyes, with Luke.

"Can I help you do something, Jade?" Luke said instead.

Jade held his reply long enough to let Luke and whatever preternatural presence rested inside him know that this topic wasn't resolved yet. Then, with a raised eyebrow, "Like what?"

"I don't know. Anything." This time the shrug was Luke's: insecure and wanting. "You're still unpacking, right? I can help you put stuff up..." but he pressed his lips tight when he glanced, involuntarily, at the test tube stand. "Or I can cook you something downstairs. Anise always had to remind you on the road. Scientist-type people never eat on their own, right?"

Jade raised the other brow. Mildly, "Much as I love a good self-poisoning, I'd rather you don't, unless you can cook any better than before your leisurely two-year hiatus."

"Asch can."

Jade peered at Luke sharply, but the young man's face was guileless and steady. Was this second instance of implied duality purposeful? Should he take it as an invitation to comment on the blatant _wrongness _of the young man before him? Because Luke may have returned to them, but Luke wasn't right.

And another part of him reasoned that this, here, _ah_ – this was the true reason Luke ended up on Jade's more-or-less doorstep, far from his more appropriate friends. Doubtless they couldn't handle this kind of Luke, who was cognizant of his own super-existence but footloose and rootless, who was increasingly intuitive but spoke in an artless riddle of proper nouns and tenses.

He rubbed a hand over his neck. When did he become the parent, to fix all wrongs? "Make me something bland, please."

Later, Jade came downstairs with a pile of Dist's old lab aprons – trashed for practical use, but with good bets on an afterlife of endless scullery. A suitably plain meal was laid out on the table, at which sat Luke, looking unexpectant and casually sure of the moment of Jade's arrival. Bright green eyes locked onto the aprons, first, before shifting to meet Jade's.

"Spaghetti and toast. Good enough?" No mention was made of the aprons. Jade set them in a pile on an island barstool to be laundered at some point. Perhaps Luke could do it.

"Marvelous."

They ate more or less companionably, if Jade discounted those moments where the room would abruptly fill with a looming oppression, as if it were suddenly too tight for just the two – three? four? – of them, and Luke would press at his temples and grit his teeth in an animal snarl. Then Luke would close his eyes and mutter things Jade couldn't hear, and the feeling would pop like clearing one's ears after an abrupt ascending of the Albiore.

Usually these little scenes happened after Jade caught Luke staring solemnly at some scattered article of lab equipment – not necessarily just Dist's, but his things, as well.

After witnessing the sixth such internal battle, Jade calmly patted his lips with a napkin and resettled it on his lap. "You know, Luke," he began, watching the young man blink slowly and with a vaguely alarming lack of focus, "we could continue this charming dinner and a show routine all evening, I'm sure, but I'm a busy housewife and I have cleaning to do. So allow me to be unusually direct for the both of us tonight: what are you here for?"

Luke set down his fork and looked away. Jade waited evenly, a Cheshire interest peaking inside him. Whatever else he was or wasn't, this new Luke exuded enigma. Jade generally hated enigmas when they were materialized in people other than himself; but, in a self-destructive aberration of character, the things he despised most were what drew him in with the kind of single-minded, intense thirst that mothers warned their children about, usually accompanied by lectures about cats and curiosity and untimely demises. Dist had said it was what made him, _them_, scientists. Peony would blithely comment about twisting the knife, and pleasure, and it would all denigrate into lewd masochism and roleplay jokes. Nephry just called him an addict.

When Luke spoke, however, it was still more of a shock than he cared to admit.

"I'd like to split."

Jade sat back slowly.

Luke glanced at him out the corner of his eye. Then turned away swiftly, wringing his fingers in his coat.

"You'd like," Jade repeated slowly, "to split. Luke, tell me you don't mean what I think you do."

Luke rolled his shoulders and made an aborted gesture towards his temple that would have ended, Jade was sure, in him clutching familiarly at his head and grimacing, an expression that was becoming irritating in its own right.

"If I could tell you that, I would."

Jade let out a breath. "Alright. Why."

Luke turned to him with a sudden vehemence, heat in his eyes and in his words, spilling out of him too quickly, nearly slurred, like lancing a boil. "I'm not comfortable in my own skin," he said, leaning forward with his arms on the table and facing Jade intently, long strands of flame-red hair slinking over the shoulders of his white coat, luridly. "I'm not comfortable in my own _mind._ It's not Lorelei – I'm part Lorelei anyway, just like Luke and Asch are – were. Are. I don't know, you see?" He threw up his hands but didn't stop. "It's not Lorelei that's the problem. It tries to help in the only ways it knows how. But it doesn't really understand how to work on a, a mortal level. A human level. We're _not right_, like this." He pressed forward even further but drew his arms back in to clutch at the fabric over his chest. "_Here_, we're not right." He raised black-gloved hands to his head. "And here. Luke and I don't fit in me no matter what Lorelei does. I'm both Luke and Asch but I'm neither, which could have been fine, we think, if I were originally one person. But we weren't, so it _isn't_. Do you understand?" Then, "Don't look at me like that!"

Jade jolted slightly at the snap. He cleared his throat a little. "Explain it to me more, Luke."

Futilely, it seemed, he was hoping the coherence in his speech would breed an answering coherence; Luke carried on hastily, an uncomfortable desperation bleeding into his expression. "I've always been connected to Asch. Luke needed that connection, and Asch needed Luke after he was born, whether I knew it or not. But we, I, we were never the same person. We were _two identical people, _but not the _same. _They're meant to be separate, but connected and whole. Separate, but whole! Not together and, and _prickling _at each other all the time. I can't stand it." His voice took on a ragged quality. "_We can't stand it. _ We want to be Asch and Luke again."

He gave Jade one last hard, wild look, then sat back, spent.

Jade took off his glasses, set them on the table and rubbed the space between his eyes, shutting out the world and this – this mess, dumped on his lap. _I don't even know where to start_ was on the tip of his tongue; but he held in the face of Luke's crestfallen expression, tinged with just enough hope to be crushable. He _ought _to crush it – nip it in the bud and send Luke on his way. He might not be...worth much, for a while, but he was young. He would adapt.

With Lorelei inside him, Jade didn't see how he couldn't. No matter what Luke might think.

He stayed quiet and still, and with each passing minute that he didn't say _no_, he could feel Luke's hopes rising exponentially. He brought his hand down, opening his eyes and resettling his glasses with a measured motion, fixing Luke with a careful expression.

"Have you been thinking about this for a while?"

Luke's eyes shifted quickly to the side before returning to his – an embarrassed, dodging motion.

"Almost since I came back." Said like an admittance, as if he expected to be chastised.

"Weeks, then."

"Yes." And then, with a slight bodily squirm echoed in his voice, as if he couldn't help it when he blurted, "Do you think you can do it?"

Jade pointedly raised his eyebrows. "I? My dear boy, if any of what you want is even remotely possible, it will be _you_ doing the doing."

Luke shifted back in his seat. "Me? But I'm-" he shook his head, gaze wavering somewhere between the bits of sauce clinging to his plate and his half-emptied glass of water. "I'm not right. Things get messed up in my head. Do you know how hard I have to think to get the right words to come out? To say _I?"_ Each word came with a hesitation, a pause of concentration as if he really _were _focusing that much.

"And besides," he added plaintively, "I don't know what we can think of that's any better than what you can come up with."

Jade tapped his wineglass thoughtfully. "I thought we weaned you of this insufferable insecurity a long time ago."

Luke jolted upright, brows snapping together. "What?"

"I'm flattered you think I can solve everything, Luke, but even my considerably vast knowledge of fomicry can't compare to what you have, now." Jade raised a brow. "You were gone for two years, time you haven't accounted for and during which I can only speculate as to where or what you might have been doing. But in the vaguest possible terms, I can guess. And considering the way you've been flouncing about with seventh fonons sprouting at your feet like daisies, I think you're much more capable than you're letting on."

That pressure was building at the edges of his senses again, and he knew by the darkness gathering at Luke's not-so-green eyes that he was flirting with some kind of dangerous line. "What would you have me do? You must recognize that another replica would only compound your problems, and that's about all I could offer, were either of us willing to go that route. I can't reach inside your head, stir up your multiple personalities, and make it come out all better-"

"Shut up!"

Jade shut up. But not because he wanted to – with a brief flare of panic, he discovered he really couldn't move his jaw, couldn't even _hum_, no matter what he tried. That alarm morphed rapidly to outrage. Trust Luke, with his impulsive accusations – Asch, with his uncompromising temper – to not only misunderstand the point he was driving at, but to cut him off before he could even get there.

Luke was on his feet across the table, white-faced and an arm splayed into the air, fist clenched and shaking. "Fine! Don't help us! Luke trusted you enough to tell you first – and you throw it back in our face!"

Jade simply glowered.

"Just – agh!" Luke pressed a fist to his forehead, gritting his teeth. "We don't want to see your face right now," he muttered between his teeth. "The dreck won't bother you for such a stupid thing as _help _again."

He didn't even give a final snarl, or look back over his shoulder to sneer – just swept out of the kitchen with ire in his steps and a crackle of gold in his wake.

Only after he heard the front door slam did Jade uncross his arms, lean back in his chair and tip back a –

Wait. He couldn't tip back a nice long swallow of wine because an overly-touchy fonon-inhabited young adult had left his mouth _stuck shut_.

Jade rose, sliding his chair in with poised grace, pulling his gloves out of his pocket and pulling them on precisely, each fingertip given attention. He was going to find every single arte Luke hadn't fixed after his lovely little break-in and write it down – and House Fabre was going to have a very, very large bill, very soon.

...

The skies were bright and clear – good for flying, Noelle told him cheerily from the cockpit more than once as they cut their way through midday sun. He suspected she was just trying to lighten his mood, and he appreciated that, and it even worked, to some extent – it was hard _not_ to be uplifted by the beautiful landscape spread far down below them, green and vast and colorfully alive. But all the same, his determination would not be swayed.

Guy was going to find Luke. And then he was going to demand what possessed –

– well, they all knew what possessed Luke –

– demand what possessed Luke to go haring off in the middle of the night to who knows where, leaving them to discover his absence only when he didn't show up for morning sparring and couldn't be found anywhere around the estate. It wasn't like he was _confined_ there like he used to be – he was as free to come and go as he pleased as the rest of them. But not even a note left behind, and _that's _what got him. Luke was usually more considerate than that.

_Usually_ being something of a novelty. Go back a few weeks, and there wouldn't have been a Luke around to make a _usually_.

Guy crossed his arms over his chest and frowned out at the horizon. He wasn't really worried about Luke's physical safety. To give his friend well-deserved credit, even before he'd come back, he was pretty damn good in a fight. He'd come a _long _way from how he started out.

And now, what with part of Lorelei inside him...there wasn't much that Luke couldn't handle, anymore.

Except possibly, Guy thought with a sigh, his own mind. It wasn't just that he wasn't the same as before – they were all fine with Luke acting a little differently than he used to. He was part Asch now, so it was expected; and so, when sometimes he'd go silent rather than banter back at them, or when he'd seek out a quiet, empty space to be alone in for a few hours, they let him. They didn't think much of it – he was still, in all the ways that mattered, the Luke they'd all grown fond of.

Looking back, Guy could admit to himself that they were probably too willing to overlook any little strangenesses _because _they cared for Luke that much. Relief and unexpected happiness were heady feelings.

But lately, there were small things, occasional things that just...made him worry.

Like pausing in the shadows of the training salle to watch Luke stare at his sword because he couldn't figure out which hand he wanted to hold it with, only making a decision when Guy had emerged, whistling loudly to spare his friend the knowledge that his indecision had been witnessed. Or hearing him talk to Natalia and Tear during their frequent visits, and how the words _Asch _and _Luke _would slip out, just once or twice, but with enough of a jarring silence afterwards to make Luke swallow and look down with embarrassment, no matter how much they assured him they understood and didn't mind. Or the way that, after Anise had professed a giggly, outlandish desire to marry him for his money and latched onto him clingily – her antics so comfortably well-worn that no one, least of all Anise herself, took them at all seriously anymore – he'd pushed her off him with more roughness than usual, and wouldn't let her, or anyone else, touch him the rest of the night.

And so, selfish as Luke's disappearing act might be, Guy couldn't help the paranoia creeping in at the edges of his nerves that, maybe, all those small things had finally added up to something Luke couldn't stand, and he'd just...

...left them, again, to a place none of them could follow.

_But._

They sure as hell weren't giving up on the idiot. Not by a longshot. And that was why, after setting Tear, Natalia, and Anise to the search, Guy and teams of White Knights had relentlessly scoured the Fabre grounds and beyond for any sign of Luke's passing. And, when none had been forthcoming, why Guy had unflinchingly climbed inside the Albiore to pay a visit to the creepiest person he knew.

"Colonel Curtiss's residence is in visual range, sir," Noelle chirped brightly.

Guy repressed a shudder.

They alighted on perhaps the only expanse of open field that could fit the Albiore – stepping down the gangplank, Guy could easily see one edge of the island standing at the other. Noelle bid him good luck, but opted to stay in the cockpit to wait when he suggested, hopefully, that she come as backup. Whippy and untrimmed, the long grass reached up to his waist as he waded through to Jade's front door.

Not one to miss an airship landing daintily in his backyard, Jade was there to meet him, leaning against the doorjamb and smiling pleasantly with a glint in his eyes that immediately put Guy on edge.

"Hey, Jade..." Guy waved a little sheepishly, feeling even more nervous when the scientist merely smiled more widely and nodded, crossing his arms. "How's the new house working out? It, ah, looks pretty nice."

With his free shoulder, Jade shrugged casually, still smiling right at him.

"Right..." Guy brought a hand behind his neck, grinning nervously. If Jade wanted him gone, he could have picked a less eerie way to make his point... "I guess you're busy, so I won't bother you much. But has Luke passed this way at all?"

Jade slowly pushed off the wall, eyes narrowing in a decidedly predatory manner, something sardonic to his raised eyebrow and casually deliberate nod.

But the hope flaring in Guy's chest completely disregarded the warning signals coming his way. "He has?" Honestly, Jade's house was only the first stop among many he had planned for the day; at most, he figured he'd alert the scientist to the search and be on his way. Of all the places he thought Luke might willingly go – or might flee to in times of distress – Jade's house was far from the top.

Apparently he was wrong, to his good fortune. "Oh, that's a relief." He smiled for real now, less alarmed because Jade, for all his surliness, didn't seem to be. "When? Was he okay?"

For some reason, this seemed to amuse Jade, the way a private joke might; it only baffled Guy. "Um, Jade? Are _you _okay?"

Silently, the scientist reached into his pocket, withdrawing, of all things, a notebook and pen. Guy watched in growing confusion as he wrote a few lines, smoothly, then presented the paper to Guy.

_Other than acute thirst and notable hunger, I am quite alright_.

Guy looked from the paper to the scientist and back again, confused.

"You can't talk?"

Jade turned the notepad back towards himself, wrote more, and held it out for Guy to see. The swordsman peered closer, shocked to read, _Nor eat or drink, as I am a bit close-mouthed these days. A legacy of our dear friend Luke's visit, I'm afraid._

Guy looked up, finally noting the pinched anger at the corner's of Jade's eyes but not wanting to believe the cause of it. "Luke did this to you?"

Another scratch of the pen. _Yes._

"Why?"

_He considered himself provoked, I believe._

Ah. Guy regarded Jade suspiciously. _"Did _you provoke him?"

_I honestly didn't expect him to react so strongly._

"So you did, then." Guy sighed, frowning. "Not that it makes it any better. First he runs off, now this..."

Jade simply smiled unpleasantly and invited him in.

Sitting on Jade's second story back porch sipping lemonade and having an entire conversation via notepad was decidedly surreal. Each comment Guy made was punctuated by the ensuing silence of Jade's reply, and even when Jade would look down mid-sentence, shaking his head as if to cut him off, Guy was able to carry on regardless, a fact that gave him a certain amount of glee. Never before had he ever felt this much in control of a conversation with the scientist. Though he did feel a bit guilty about drinking in front of him. Luke had been here and left only the previous evening, but the island was hot and already Jade must be pretty thirsty.

Guy asked if Jade knew why Luke had come, but the scientist just gave an elegant, smarmy shrug, all aristocratically raised brows and delicately innocent smile, and replied _I simply have no idea._

A lie if he ever saw one.

"I suppose I'd better be going," Guy said finally, tipping back on his chair and looking out to the ocean. It was bright; he could only stand it for a few seconds. He looked out to the grassy field instead, rustling softly in the breeze, and the metal hulk of the Albiore beyond, looming like a large insect. "I'm sorry to leave you here like this," he added apologetically, "but you and I both know there's really nothing I can do to help, unless you want to come with me and we can swing by Tear or something. I swear when I find Luke I'm gonna...well, first he's gonna fix you, whether he likes it or not, but after that – what?"

Jade was holding out the notepad, waiting with pointed patience for Guy to notice him out the corner of his eye.

"'Stay here and he'll return eventually?'" Guy repeated aloud, looking up questioningly. Jade nodded as one might to a slow pupil, spreading his hands palm-up in front of him in a gesture of _see, that wasn't so hard now, was it?_

"Well, I know now he's not in any kind of trouble," Guy countered with a slight frown, "but I really don't think we should just let Luke wander around right now on his own, when he's..." he trailed off hesitatingly, unsure of how much Jade did or didn't know of Luke's...weirdness, other than the fact that, somewhere along the line, he'd learned how to sew people's mouths shut. He _still _didn't have the details of what caused that little spat.

Jade had written more, starting almost as soon as Guy opened his mouth so that when he finished, the scientist was already presenting the pad across the table.

_If he doesn't want you to find him, you won't._

On its own line, set apart like an ultimatum. Then:

_But he has to come _here_ to reverse his arte – which, assuming he retains a conscience, he will._

When Guy looked up, Jade gestured to his mouth with a flourish, smiling sweetly.

And that was how Guy became a reluctant houseguest of the Necromancer.

...

A flash of gold. Footsteps on the rooftop, glowing, muffled, and muted like the farthest-seen rays of a lighthouse. A jump to the ground, sliding through the grass to the ship. Touching the grass, touching the ship, running hands over sleek metal. Finding it empty.

Standing under the stars.

Returning to the house, waiting out the dawn.

...


	2. two

...

Guy was, by habit, an early riser, up with the dawn and bright-eyed as the chirpees. Unfamiliar settings were no cause for exception; at the first hint of brightness over the horizon, Guy climbed out of sleep and into full wakefulness as one might skip scaling a wall in favor of the pole vault: one mighty lurch, then smooth sailing.

He wasn't surprised to find the house still dark on his journey from the second-story guest room to the kitchen. Jade, he knew, was a bear in the mornings, and like any wild beast, was best appeased by food. Thoughts of pancakes in mind, Guy rummaged through Jade's cabinets – hardly stocked, but yes, there, some flour – and had breakfast started while the windows yet showcased landscapes gray- and yellow-washed with early haze.

Hardly had he begun when the soft sound of booted footsteps tapped over the kitchen tile. Guy turned –

"Luke!"

Connected to the kitchen were several rooms, one of which was a viewing parlor, overlooking the cliff-side of the sea and with a distant view of the mainland; and it was from this parlor that Luke approached, smiling a little nervously and stepping deliberately, soldier-like, as if he pressed extra hard upon his heels.

"Hi Guy." Luke came to a halt in front of him, still smiling, his response positive in tone but cautious, like he wasn't sure of Guy's reaction to his presence. For all his previous intentions, Guy wasn't sure of it himself.

"It's, uh, good to see you again?" Luke tried, one hand rising to rub the back of his neck sheepishly. Slowly, Luke's eyes tracking his movements, Guy set down his spatula. Then whirled, pointing a finger, shaking his head wordlessly, and, when he couldn't decide how best to word what he wanted to say, punching Luke in the shoulder.

Luke yelped and took a step back, rubbing the abused area. "Mad at me, huh?" he asked ruefully.

"Yeah, well, you deserve it," Guy sniffed, leaning back against the counter. Luke smiled.

"You sound like Natalia when you get all huffy like that."

Guy refused to give in. "Well?" He crossed his arms over his chest and looked at Luke pointedly.

"Well what?"

"You know what."

Something shifted in Luke's expression. "I'm trying not to know what, actually." Guy frowned, uncrossing his arms and pushing off from the counter.

"You mean with-"

"Nevermind." Luke flashed a grin. "I do know what. I should have left a message." His grin faded. "I'm sorry to have worried you, Guy."

Guy's frown didn't lift. "Luke, it's not just a matter of worrying _me_, it's everyone else, too, and it's the principal of the thing, and..." he hesitated, because something in Luke's eyes was pleading with him to let the matter rest. And so, despite his reservations...he did, reluctantly. "...and you better not do it again without letting one of us know so we don't spend days searching for you, Luke! Now I have to call off Tear and Natalia and Anise..." He made a big show of appearing aggravated.

For now he'd let it go. Only because he was glad to see Luke okay.

The relief in Luke's eyes was thanks enough.

Then the redhead grinned cockily, peering over Guy's shoulder on his toes. "Pancakes smell good. Sure would love one..."

Guy rolled his eyes. "Yes, some are for you, too." He picked up the spatula again and waved Luke away with it. "But don't eat them all, or it's Jade you'll have to answer to-"

He broke off, levity gone instantly. He'd forgotten. He'd forgotten and Luke hadn't said anything about it either, and it hurt Guy to think that that _had_ to have been on purpose...Luke stepped back under the darkening of his gaze, fingers ghosting over the hilt of his sword before a bleak look shuttered over his face. His hands buried in the pockets of his cloak.

"Don't worry," he said quietly. "I fixed him already. He's still asleep yet."

Guy held Luke's eyes a moment longer until Luke looked away. Guy sighed.

"What were you thinking?" He asked it quietly, sensing Luke's skittishness growing, a feral quality emerging in his hunching shoulders and downcast gaze, like a stray readying itself for escape.

"Please, Guy-" Lowly, nearly a whisper.

"Luke-"

"I didn't mean to, alright?" Guy blinked, taken aback by the sudden snap to Luke's tone, the complete one-eighty from anxiously submissive to – to this...

"Hey, now." Guy's eyes narrowed, tone defensive despite himself. "No need for that. I was just asking-"

"Yeah, well, why should I always have to trip over my feet apologizing?" Luke was facing him squarely now, eyes sharp and irritation flaring in his demeanor like a concentrated thundercloud. "I made a mistake, I came back to fix it, and now it's over! Done! What else would you have me do? Beg for forgiveness?"

He'd taken steps forward, the physicality of his words given form, until he was close enough to press into Guy's personal space, reeking of confrontation. Backed against the counter, Guy was equally irritated and alarmed. This wasn't the Luke he'd grown to know again these past weeks, and he couldn't help the searching look he gave the younger man before him. Nostrils flared, Luke bore the scrutiny only for a moment before –

Before, strangely enough, he backed down.

"I'm sorry," he bit out, and turned, stalking away.

Guy watched, nonplussed and a bit bewildered by the whole display. "Where are you going?"

"Noelle's waking up," was the terse reply, cast back over his shoulder without even a look. "I'm putting her back to sleep. She did a full daytrip before you came to her, you know. She could use the rest. And your pancakes are burning."

Guy watched Luke go before turning back to the skillet distractedly. He finished cooking under the weight of increasingly heavy thoughts, setting the dozen slightly charred pancakes on a platter and, when it appeared that Luke wouldn't be returning and Noelle and Jade were still asleep, going outside to the Albiore and booting up the communications network, fingers tapping the metal indecisively while the machine whirred quietly to life. And even after the fontech was ready, still he couldn't quite make the calls he knew he probably should, not when he half-expected Luke to burst in the door, accusations flying – perhaps rightly so, if he went through with this completely...

He stopped tapping, one finger poised over the button. Pressed it.

"...Tear? Yeah, I found him...No, he's-" _not fine, I'm lying when I say he's _"fine, don't worry about it. I think we're gonna stay here a few days, though, so..."

...

Knowing the quickness of Fabre temper, Guy was hoping Luke had calmed during his absence. But he hadn't; he'd simply chosen a new opponent.

Guy could hear them speaking as he opened the door, and so kept it quiet while he crept in the foyer, padding to the kitchen. On his way, he saw Noelle, sleepy and concerned, crouched on the staircase in a too-large, obviously borrowed floral nightgown (and from just whom, in a house owned by a male and populated by male guests, had she gotten that?) with her hands on the railing bars, peering into the kitchen cautiously. When she looked his direction, Guy just smiled weakly and shrugged. He didn't know any more than her what the problem was this time, but he could guess.

Holding back at the doorframe, Guy...wasn't _eavesdropping, _exactly. He was in plain sight, just...unobtrusively so.

"...told them I was here?"

"'Them' is, perhaps, an overstatement-"

"Guy, then."

"Yes, I told Guy, after he alighted at my doorstep and evidenced concern over your well-being and, more pertinently, _my_ well-being – something you might endeavor for, dear viscount."

Guy bit his lip to hold himself back, only because Jade's eyes slid sleekly to his for an instant, a flash of warning red that would never diminish, not even with the decrease in fonic arte capacity. The message was clear.

Stay out of this.

Luke, for his part, either didn't know he had an audience or flat-out ignored them. Primarily his back faced the stairwell, so that only when he shifted could Guy make out the wariness etching lines into the crevices of his face – the eyes, lips, mouth, forehead.

Which was strange. What did Luke have to be wary about?

"I fixed you, Jade." Said like a warning. Arms crossed over his torso.

"Yes, I suppose you did," Jade replied pleasantly. "While I was asleep, I might add, which is a somewhat more up my alley of – what's the word Guy's so fond of? Creepiness, that's it – more up my alley of _creepiness _than yours. Though I won't claim a monopoly."

"I won't even reply to that." Flatly. "You know that I'm – you know."

"And that gives you license for what you did?"

Quickly losing track of the conversation, Guy lost sight of Luke's face, too, when the redhead shifted, gritting out a quiet, "You _were_ pretty insensitive. I'm still not happy with you about that."

Jade appeared politely astonished. "You expected me to cater to your delicate sensibilities?"

"It's clear I shouldn't have." Flatly.

Guy watched Jade watching Luke staring at a point out the window, saw Luke touch his forehead, and saw Jade's expression morph subtly.

"Did you even think about what you were condemning me to?"

A glint, then, from the window: Luke's reflection, meeting Guy's for just a second, startling Guy with the flash of unreadable gold-green. Luke's glance showed no surprise; obviously he'd known Guy was there. He didn't answer Jade.

If he was looking for some kind of cue, Guy supposed he wouldn't get any more than that from either of them, not the way they were acting. So he strolled into the kitchen, trying not to let swordsman's instincts tell him he was walking between drawn blades.

Luke turned from the window, from Jade, and smiled – hesitatingly, which was difficult to watch – to which Guy grinned easily.

"I called Tear," he said quickly, trying not to sound or feel like he was babbling. "She'll let the others know there's nothing to worry about. So we're good on that."

For a moment, a flash of a greater smile. "Thanks," Luke said, then his focus shifted beyond Guy and he called, "You can come out now, Noelle." And when she was closer, another small smile, and an apologetic, "I'm sorry about having caused you trouble."

Noelle, to her credit, didn't let any nervousness show. "No problem," she replied, helping herself to food. Poured herself some juice, took a seat, and stalwartly carried on. Guy thought her example was as good as any, and followed suit, ignoring the feeling of mincing between snarly ligers. At least they were less snarly than a moment ago.

"Thanks for the pancakes, Guy," Luke said, then touched his stomach sheepishly. "I was pretty hungry, so...yeah. Ate mine already. I'll be out in the field if anyone wants me."

"Oh." Guy blinked. "Okay. Welcome."

"Having manners, I waited for my houseguests to arrive before partaking in this feast," Jade said with deliberate pleasantness, settling at the table beside them. "May I join you for breakfast?"

…

Several days passed with neither incident nor acknowledgment of the true reason they had all converged on Jade's house. Guy had a feeling Jade knew more than he was letting on – he usually did – but trusted Luke to tell him when he was ready, and didn't press. Despite his assurances, Guy could tell the girls – Tear, especially – were growing increasingly hard to fool the longer Luke remained away from home, and when Guy admitted as much to Luke, he merely nodded and said,

"I didn't want to cause them trouble, but I suppose it's natural they'd find out eventually."

Guy held his breath. "...Find out what?"

Luke only smiled, and touched his head with a faint grimace, and said, "Please don't be offended I haven't told you yet. It's very personal. Beyond normal personal. Jade only knows because I thought he might be able to help. And I just don't want to share it yet, but I will share it eventually."

The island had pleasant weather, so it wasn't hard to find ways to pass the time. Noelle, saying she rarely had the chance to do 'girl things,' sunned herself luxuriously. Jade did...stuff, in his labs. Guy, as always, kept his sword skills sharp. Sometimes Luke joined him for a spar; sometimes he didn't.

Sometimes Luke just disappeared.

...

And it was only a matter of time before Guy got to see that particular magic trick played out in front of his eyes, mid-conversation with the young man, walking down a pearly white hallway adorned with carved seashells, talking sword talk, the smell of sea salt drifting in through open windows and the brightness of early morning casting shadows on their footsteps.

"-you really think so?" Guy asked, exaggeratedly incredulous.

"Sure." Luke smiled easily. "I saw her use one in the Coliseum, it was very effective against broadswords-"

Then his face contorted as if in great pain, red bangs draping over his eyes as he bent over with a grimace, clutching his head.

Guy was at his side immediately. "Luke?"

The young man shook his head wordlessly.

"What is it, Luke?" Guy grabbed his shoulders with alarm and gave him a slight shake. "Tell me what's wrong so I can help you-"

Then a blinding flash of gold, a trembling in the air and Luke was gone, and Guy was left holding air.

He told Jade and Noelle, of course, in case either saw the redhead before him. Noelle agreed to keep a lookout; Jade simply shrugged and replied, "He'll turn up when he chooses, I suppose."

Guy spent the afternoon vacillating between anxiety and restlessness. His feet eventually took him out of the house and into the grassy field that served as Jade's yard. The summer insects clustered in hazy clouds in the sticky heat; Guy shucked layer after layer, until he made as close a compromise as he would get between a comfortable body temperature and protection from the bugs. He waved to Noelle when, upon cresting a small hill, he saw her laying on the sand, an umbrella staked into the shore and casting a cooling shadow over her despite her previous proclamations of bronzing in the sun. She waved back and smiled prettily, and Guy meandered on.

He continued up the slight hill until he arrived at the top, choosing a spot on a large boulder to rest, one leg pulled up and his hands clasped over the knee, resting his chin on his fingers. And he thought about a couple things, but mostly he thought of Luke.

The redhead was far from helpless. Wherever he'd gone, he could surely handle himself, even if it was Guy's duty as a loyal servant and friend to be with him, facing the danger, no matter what sort of situation that might be. It was just – Luke had _friends_, now, true friends, that he could count on in a pinch (Guy still felt guilt over the harsh words he'd lashed Luke with after Akzeriuth) and who wouldn't abandon him anymore when he made mistakes, as he was prone to do. Or at least, as he _had _been prone to do, before he left for two years and came back a changed man.

Like looking at the clouds and knowing the approach of rain, Guy had a feeling he could only be a spectator in whatever fight Luke found himself.

When Luke returned happened to be during a tasty chicken dinner, the three of them gathered in Jade's kitchen. Guy stood up to refill his water glass, when, out of the corner of his eye - a sparkle of gold, like the momentary flash of a firefly. Turning quickly, he saw, in the off-kitchen viewing parlor, Luke.

"Luke!" Putting down his glass and running from the kitchen, seeing Luke stagger a half-step before pressing his back to the sun-warmed wall and sliding to the floor, hands clutching his head and whining faintly.

"_Luke!"_

But by the time Guy reached him, Luke had faded gently from sight, the air where he'd been hissing agitatedly for a moment like a poor radio signal. Guy growled in frustration as Jade and Noelle rushed belatedly to his side.

The next morning, Luke came back, acting as if nothing had happened, and, no matter how hard Guy pressed or how much he cajoled, wouldn't say a word.

…

Going to the place where Lorelei tries to break them in two.

Scrambling to get away from its beatific cruelty, being trapped. Softly gripping their body and _pulling._

Pain.

Lorelei's apologies and unyielding insistence. Gentle, terrifying gold mist, molten in their veins, stretched tight and overfull.

Lorelei's heavy frustration, weighing them down to the living world.

...


	3. three

…

Three days later, Guy walked into another one of Luke's arguments with Jade. Sadly, they seemed to be occurring more often as of late; this new Luke was contentious and hair-trigger in ways neither Asch nor Luke had been, and it was slowly getting under his target's skin.

"But I-"

"Have offended me and would be wise to leave well enough alone," Jade cut him off without looking.

"It's – but I _need_ – "

Luke floundered, sounding strangely reluctant to speak. A telltale glance at Guy_._

"You _know_ why." The young man turned back to Jade, plaintively. "Why I'm here. What I need. It-" but he struggled visibly for words.

"And I repeat: your wisest course of action would be to leave," Jade repeated through thin lips and clenched teeth. He appeared truly angry. Guy stepped forward, watching Luke watch Jade turn to leave, watching Luke's expression grow more and more hurt and aggressive.

Then he snapped.

"Here!" He waved a hand in desperate rage. "_Here_! This is what it's like! That's what you condemn us to!"

Jade doubled over with wide eyes, dropping to the floor, clutching his stomach with one hand and supporting himself with the other. Guy stared at Luke, aghast.

"Luke!" But it was Jade he rushed over to, trying to help the scientist sit up. Guy glanced over his shoulder, furious.

"_What the hell_, Luke?"

Luke stared back, looking suddenly scared. "I'm sorry-"

"Just fix him! Undo whatever you did-"

Jade lurched forward, heaving unsteady breaths, going very pale very rapidly, the red of his eyes bright like blood. Supported by Guy, one horribly shaking hand went to his forehead, the other reaching weakly towards Luke.

"Just, just hold him still-"

"_Now_, Luke!"

Luke bit his lip, face wrung and red like he was about to cry, but placed glowing gold hands on Jade's head – then _pulled,_ hands clenching only thin air, but Jade gasped like Luke had torn out his mind.

"_What did you do?"_

"He's alright," Luke whispered, grimacing as he flattened his fists onto his own head, which glowed golden for a second even after he removed his hands, ghosting a palm inches over Jade's forehead. "He's alright," he repeated as Jade shivered once before going still, eyes closing and face relaxing.

Then he sat back on his haunches, face drawn and fearful, leaving Guy to hold the dead weight of the sleeping man.

"Help me get him to a bed," Guy snapped.

Luke swallowed and made to raise a glowing hand. "Here, I can-"

"_No."_

Luke shuddered, body curled away from them as if he simultaneously sought to protect himself and longed to escape. But, eyes averted, all traces of gold erased, he helped Guy carry the scientist up the flight of stairs to a guest room.

After they'd arranged Jade comfortably – in silence – and closed the door behind them – Luke jumping skittishly behind him like a frightened cheagle – Guy strode down the stairs to the living room, not hearing Luke but knowing he was there nonetheless. He sat in a chair, though he felt like beating something – maybe Luke. The young man hovered in the doorway, indecision clear on his face, before settling on the edge of a chair close to the exit, body perched and small.

"Luke-"

"He'll be alright," Luke interrupted him, quickly, watching Guy's face intently. "I know he'll be alright. We took it out of him, I promise I did-"

"Luke-"

"We didn't mean to, not really, not enough to hurt him like that-"

"_Luke_!"

Luke suddenly turned away. He rubbed the side of his sword for comfort, pathetically.

Guy's heart squeezed. "What is going _on _with you?"

He saw Luke's throat work in a swallow. He didn't answer. Guy sighed.

A long few minutes of silence passed, in which Luke, looking unsure and hesitant, opened his mouth several times as if to speak, though no sound emerged. Instead he'd run a hand over his sword again, then grip the hilt tightly and tense his lips into a thin line, looking first at the ocean paintings hung along the walls, then out the window, then at the ornate blue and cream rug, thick under their feet. Had Guy not utterly trusted in his friend, the coiled way Luke sat might have made him think redhead was preparing to attack; as it was, what Luke had done to Jade hung in the air between them, heavily, and the room smelled like secrets.

"You don't like me how I am now," Luke suddenly burst out, miserably and with a quiet, unnerving desolation.

Somewhat bewildered, Guy shook his head, looking at his friend with genuine concern, seeking to reassure. "No, Luke, I-"

"Don't lie. You'd rather have the old me. And just _one _of me, right? Not the other."

A bit hurt, Guy's brows knit as he tried to discern the redhead's line of reasoning, like sailing through foggy seas without a lighthouse. "What do you mean, Luke?"

"Me and him," Luke replied, finally looking at Guy, eyes green and sad. "_Us_."

Guy ran a hand through his hair. "I can't help you if you don't explain it to me."

But Luke only shook his head earnestly and repeated, _"_Us_. _You'd rather have one, not the other, and you don't want the me that I am now-_"_

Still keyed up from the incident with Jade, Guy finally lost his shreds of patience and snapped "Stop that." Luke wilted and looked away; Guy softened his tone. "Don't put words in my mouth. I like you however you end up being. But do I like how you've been acting the majority of the time we've been at Jade's? No. I don't."

Luke buried his hands in his hair, crouching to the floor, head sunk low as his knees. "Dammit. _Dammit._ I knew it, I couldn't help but know it, but – Guy, what if that's just – how I really am now? What if this is how I really am?"

Guy stared. "You're not. I know Luke fon Fabre, and he's a better person than this."

Luke cringed; Guy couldn't miss it, or the flash of guilt that followed.

"What if-" Luke was really hesitant now, making some of Guy's irritation fade because Luke was looking every which way other than at him, gripping at the fabric of his coat, getting visibly edgier by the moment. "What if I-"

"...Yes?" Guy prompted, less harshly now.

"I don't _mean_ to be like this," Luke began, again with that miserable air that was so hard to listen to, "But it's hard. Because I've been trying to keep things straight in my head for so long-" Guy's heart sank, "and I'm so _tired of it_. I know it's only been a few weeks for you guys but for me it's been years. I don't want to do it anymore. I don't want to _be _like this anymore and I'm too tired to pretend I can be any other way."

Growing more concerned as Luke crumbled in a spectacular confirmation of his suspicions, Guy tried to interrupt. "Luke-"

"Not yet-" Luke glanced at him once, quickly, guiltily. "Just let me say it, now, or else I won't, not until it's all over." In a rush, Luke continued with clear discomfort. "So. So I'm saying I can't be normal anymore. Because it's too hard, what I've been doing." Then he grew abruptly calm, and looked Guy square in the eye, let go of his sword and clasped his hands together loosely. With a professorial air, he asked, "Can you guess what I've been doing?"

Unnerved by the whiplash change in demeanor, Guy shook his head as if to clear the confusion within it. "Score, Luke, I knew you weren't quite right but this sounds-"

Authoritatively, Luke spoke over him. "I've been balancing two people," he said. "I _am _two people. Essentially." Golden-green and intense, his eyes locked on Guy's.

"I'm not just Luke. I'm Luke and Asch in one body, and I want to be two people again."

And then Luke waited, and watched Guy like he had _any _way to answer that.

…

Tear, Natalia, and Anise arrived via boat, Peony's lackeys bidding them a languid adieu and looking ready to take their sweet time returning to Grand Chokmah. The air was warm and salty as they walked through the long yellow-green grass, stippled with uneven shadow by the circling of the seagulls overhead. White feathers drifted like dandelion seeds.

"I'm going to pummel that dumb Luke," Anise announced apropos of nothing. Despite the tense air of anticipation, Natalia chuckled behind a delicately gloved hand.

Tear only muttered, "You'll have to beat me to it."

As soon as they'd individually received Guy's alarmed missive, the three women converged on Grand Chokmah like a swarm of agitated wasps, bullying Peony into giving them the quickest available vessel for their journey. Looking beleaguered even before their demand, the Emperor merely flapped a hand at the nearest advisor and told him to "make it so." The trek to Jade's island had been quiet.

Not that she'd show it, but Tear was very worried. Guy hadn't said much except that something was very wrong with Luke and he needed their help dealing with the redhead, and his vagueness hadn't helped her nerves any. She'd strongly suspected Guy was lying about everything being fine. He was a poor liar.

At the door, Anise knocked with surety and composure, then took a step back and waited. A few moments, then a white-green glow as the artes deactivated. As soon as Jade's aristocratic visage appeared through the sliver of an opening, Natalia rushed inside with a mix of feminine concern and wrath. Tear followed at a more reasonable dash, and Anise stomped her way in noisily.

"Where is he?" Tear asked quickly, looking around the entryway as if Luke might greet them himself, ignoring the elegant ivory splendor of Jade's home.

Jade only sighed and shook his head. "Our dear comrade-in-arms has bolted."

Tear was taken aback. "Why?" Wouldn't Luke want their help?

Ambling to lean against a doorway, one leg crossed over the other, Guy said mournfully, "We tried to keep it from him," he shrugged helplessly, "but somehow he found out you guys were coming, and he got mad that we told you where he was."

"So he's not here?" Anise demanded.

Jade smiled. "No, he's not." It wasn't a happy smile.

"Well," Natalia huffed. "Some nerve. All we want to do is help."

Guy sighed, and he and Jade traded a look. "Come with us," Guy eventually said, turning and disappearing behind the wall, his voice rising in pitch as he called back to them. "We'll explain what we know."

…

"He wants to do what?" Natalia screeched in a very unladylike manner, raising a hand to her mouth.

"Please tell me you're not serious," Tear added with a sigh.

"Oh, I think he's serious, guys," Anise said, watching the colonel carefully. Jade's face remained impassive and matter-of-fact despite the uproar. They sat in one of the many beautiful second-floor parlors, sipping lemonade and bad news.

"He is," Guy confirmed. He looked out the window to the sun-touched sea. "Luke – or Luke and Asch, rather – want to split into two people again."

"And just how does he expect to do that?" Natalia demanded, gaze switching between Guy and Jade, and raising a hand to brush a strand of hair from her face impatiently.

Jade lifted an elegant shoulder. "I have no idea." He took another sip of wine, contemplatively.

Natalia was nonplussed. "But...you're Jade."

He smiled smarmily, meeting her eyes. "And yet, I have no idea. Curious, isn't it?"

"How is this even possible?" Tear asked, heading off a potential argument. "Let's ignore the outlandishness of the whole thing, but he's...well, I suppose he's both Luke and Asch, I'm to believe? But he only has one body. Where is he going to get a second?"

"And how do you even have two people living in one body at once?" Anise wondered. "I mean, I know Luke was a replica so he was always a little different, but when someone's dead, they should be dead." Tear shot her a hurt look; Anise raised her shoulders apologetically and continued more sympathetically, "Well, it's true. We saw at least one of them die. There should only be one left. And usually, the clone is sacrificed for the original, right?"

"Luke's not dead," Tear said harshly. Anise looked at her with pity.

"Tear, I know you want him back, but..." She looked to the colonel for backup. He only raised a brow.

"I have to agree with Tear, my dear. Given what I've seen, Luke is most definitely not dead."

"Then Asch is?" Natalia demanded.

Jade sighed in a long-suffering manner. "Haven't we just said neither is dead?"

"They're both alive," Guy interrupted calmly. "Two minds in one body. It doesn't matter how it happened; that's how it is."

"And he says he 'can't stand it anymore.'" Tear shook her head, tears gathering at the corners of her eyes. "Oh, Luke..."

"One thing is certain, however," Jade said intently, watching the whole group, but watching her the most. "If Luke is to split into Luke and Asch, it will be by his own means. Do not look to me for miracles." He leaned back, sardonically.

"That's Lorelei's specialty."

…

The night was clear, the wind cold, and Tear was watching the moon when Luke came back.

"Tear?"

She turned at the familiar voice, heart in her throat. "Luke?"

He stood at the edge of the sand and the sea, down among the rocks, and shifted a bit, and didn't say anything. Tear rushed down the slope, dry grass catching on her leggings and dress. The rocks made for uncertain footing, and they clattered under her heels.

She threw herself upon him. "Luke, I'm so glad you're back." Her arms wrapped comfortably around his frame, so she felt, clearly, when he stiffened.

"Hi, Tear," was all he said, and when she looked up at him he smiled at her, but his eyes were distant and shadowed. Hurt, Tear stepped back, feeling uncharacteristically vulnerable.

"Luke?"

Then he looked at her, really looked at her, with the completeness of his entire being, and Tear nearly stepped back when she saw a flash of gold she'd never seen before flicker around the contour of his irises.

He reached out and touched her cheek. She shivered.

And then Luke said, "I'm sorry," and looked very sad. "What you want...I can't."

And then he walked away.

…

Shifting through walls like walking through water; the thickness of solidity. Living beings sequestered in sleep, sparks of light bright like stars. Guilt a heavy manacle.

Watching the play of fonons between hands gone golden and glowing.

Sinking back against a wall, in meditation as one once lay in death. Always, always striving for more distance; simultaneously craving the closeness of living in another's skin. Trapped between dialectics, thinking of how to proceed and coming up with few options.

Knowing that life as it is now is slowly becoming more and more intolerable.

...


End file.
